This week the theme for philosophy has been tolerance and there are students that tend to think of tolerance in a negative way. This may be because they equate tolerance with “tolerating”. These are not necessarily the same thing!
Generally, when we are tolerating something or someone we tend to think about a negative thing or situation that we are “putting up with”. We are reacting negatively to a situation or person and wanting that situation to end. We have an uncomfortable feeling or sensation that we are suppressing in order to maintain the peace or harmony.
Approaching undesirable situations this way however can only ever bring temporary peace, a false peace. The sensation of annoyance is simply being repressed or ignored. This will never work to bring lasting and true peace and harmony because unwanted things will happen again and eventually the negative feeling will build and erupt, causing either you, or the other person harm. This may happen either through harsh words or, possibly, actions. Negative thoughts disrupt our own peace of mind.
When we are tolerating we are working from the premise that something negative is happening to us that we wish would end, often with impatience and barely concealed anger. We are not in charge and have not taken responsibility for our own reactions. We may have a thought at the back of our mind “why should I have to put up with this”?
Tolerance however is a positive, constructive and creative mindset. Tolerance is about humanity. When we develop tolerance within ourselves we firstly recognise the humanity of another person and understand that we all have feelings, needs, desires, wishes and hopes. That we are all doing our best. We all seek happiness and acceptance and love. At times we all behave unskillfully. Tolerance is working to remove predjudice and judgement. It is to accept the things you wish were different with patience and understanding. Wisdom develops when you recognise that you are in charge of how you act in a situation rather than reacting.
When we practice tolerance we develop compassion for others, and accept the uniqueness of each person. Life would be pretty dull if we were all the same. None of us have all of the answers. There are many “right” ways to live and our way is not the only way. With tolerance, we open ourselves to learning and inclusion. We become warm-hearted and welcoming.
Through tolerance we begin to understand that things don’t happen to us… but are in fact, impersonal changing phenomena. We are able to choose how we to respond in a situation and with others. Rather than a blind reaction to feelings of irritation, impatience or discomfort, we recognise that by reacting blindly to the negativity in our mind, we will firstly harm ourselves and then others.
If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. – Marvin J. Ashton
When we “tolerate” we tend to cast blame for our situation and refuse responsibility, we are victims. When we practice tolerance we recognise that we are in charge of how we act or react.
Tolerance has limits. Our bodies exist in very limited tolerances. Our body temperature must remain within certain limited tolerances for example, and the body is constantly navigating within that tolerance.
So, tolerance of external situations must also be within limits. Practicing tolerance should never lead to allowing others to cause you harm. Again, responsibility needs to be exercised and we are to remove ourselves from harmful situations. These are situations we must never “tolerate”. We choose to take positive action rather than react negatively.